Dec 5, 2020
She was there;
2015 was the year of me spending all of its days at home. It was the first time since 1999 where I pass every moment with my sister in the same room -living room. An inner sound kept on telling me to stick with her; sort of feeling like she will no longer be there for me.
When we changed home, its architecture stood as an obstacle for me to be in the same room with her all the day; I tried to find a solution but in vain. Since I can’t place my desk in the new living room, I put it instead in my own chamber and kept on interrupting my work to go and sit with her.
One of march days, I found her photo in the kitchen, another inner sound told me: "What if Manel (her name) leaves your mum alone? What if she dies?"
May the 31st -a sad day: after returning to home from the university, I found her in a deplorable state; it was the first time I stand without getting a solution to rescue her. At 16:05, I went to the doctor to explain her situation but he was off of service. I made a call to my mother and told her that he’s unavailable and I’ll have to return tomorrow. The moment I hung up, another inner sound told me: "There would be no tomorrow for her".
I went back home and sat with her. She held my t-shirt and insisted to take her to the doctor. After three hours, her state stabilized. At 11:30, I took her to bed where she asked me for drugs. I told her that it is enough for this day, I gave her the last kiss and went to my room.
June the 1st at midnight: I heard a huge scream from her which merged with what I was dreaming it. At 01:35, my brother woke up and told me that he was injured. It was sort of an ordered event made by a super power. I examined him and at the same time, I felt like something is missing in the house: Manel’s sound; a last sound told me: "Manel is dead!". I went to her room and walked toward her step by step, and at every step I felt weakness till I reached her bed. I examined her, and made my mind on her death.
From that day, I just didn’t forget my sister, nor her smile. Manel was my childhood friend, my best friend, my lover and everything perfect in this life; I wish I can dream her everyday just to interact with, even virtually. I’m writing this post hoping that tears can gave us back what we’ve lost.
